Its a while since I posted here but it does not mean I have given up. Mother in law is still with us in Haresbrok, Tenbury Wells, and has slowly lost much of her ability to recognise her family and remember much of anything.
Sometimes she has a moments of lucidity but they pass quickly and on occassions she sits in a virtually catatonic state, swinging her feet.
Whereas I used to visit her weekly I now cannot bring myself to go to the Home for no other reason than it upsets me. Selfish? No, I don't think so. It is better for me to provide family support with strength than as a sad person.
One of the nurses in charge told me that by bringing in her favourite brands of shampoo, shower gel etc that I was trying to keep her in the here and now for my own sake and that it would be much better to let her slip into her own little world; this I know is against all dementia training but I do not have the personal strength to fight the system on this one. It took too long to ensure that her clothes were in her drawers and not on somebody else's back; this one I fear would be a never ending debate with the staff.
We keep sending her favourite brands and her own clothes and for me at the moment its all I can do as well as being here for support after visiting.
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